At the age of 30, NGO worker Sayra Mahmud (a pseudonym) became pregnant for the first time. She gave birth to her child without any physical issues. Four years later, she became pregnant again. However, this time, various complications arose, and after four and a half months, she had a miscarriage.

Afterward, Sayra saw a different side of the world. Many family members and acquaintances began blaming her office work, commuting by public transport, and eating outside for the miscarriage. Yet, when she carried her first child, she had done all of these things, and there were no issues. Reflecting on the days after the miscarriage, Sayra said, “At that time, my body and mind were utterly devastated. I couldn’t even take care of my older daughter. Amidst all this, hearing people say these things made me feel as if I were responsible for the miscarriage. It felt like I had intentionally ended my own child’s life. What kind of days those were!”

During this time, Sayra had her husband by her side, and he kept her protected. However, many women in Bangladesh do not receive emotional support from their husbands after a miscarriage.

Mithila Tabassum (a pseudonym) works at a private bank. After becoming pregnant, she followed all the proper precautions and started traveling to and from work in the office car. She took homemade food from home and avoided eating anything from outside. She regularly visited the doctor and followed their advice. Despite all this, she had a miscarriage in the fourth month.

When she returned home from the hospital, feeling extremely ill and weak, she discovered that her husband had changed. He believed that Mithila had not been caring enough for the unborn child and that her negligence was the reason for the miscarriage.

Mithila said, “At that moment, no one even patted my head to ask if I was in pain. Night after night, I cried for the unborn child. My husband didn’t even try to understand my feelings. He just blamed me. He said, ‘Others don’t have miscarriages so easily. Why did it happen to you?’”

This trend can be seen in many families in Bangladesh. At such moments, no one seems to care about what the mother is going through emotionally.

From women working as domestic helpers in people’s homes to housewives or high-ranking officials in organizations, many mothers in our society still go through the same experiences after a miscarriage.

After a miscarriage, a mother is physically and emotionally in a very fragile state. Not only is there the grief of losing a child, but the heavy loss of blood also leaves her devastated. During this time, it is the responsibility of the husband and family members to take care of not only the mother’s physical well-being but also her mental health, said Lailun Nahar, Associate Professor of the Department of Psychology at the University of Chittagong. After a miscarriage, a woman goes through a post-traumatic stage. She experiences various emotions such as sadness, anger, guilt, etc. Her self-confidence diminishes. Her eating habits change, and she may lose her appetite or have trouble sleeping. The grief of losing a child can sometimes leave her feeling numb. Special care is needed for the mother at this time. Negative behavior from the family can worsen her mental health.

This professor emphasized the importance of the husband showing empathy and understanding. She said, “No mother intentionally goes through the painful experience of a miscarriage. There can be many reasons for a miscarriage. During this time, the husband must behave in the most supportive and empathetic way. The sympathy of the husband is most effective compared to other family members.”

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